Mouthful Of Diamonds

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It’s been nearly over 3 months and still no change. I take my pills go to bed and wake up and feel exactly the same. Complete haziness with these disturbing thoughts. How am I even still alive.. I can work through emotions or feeling depressed and anxious but this, this is completely different. I’m not here, it’s endless chaos these thoughts keep circulating, keep going and going, they reach no end. I am silently being tortured in this entire other universe. ..wondering why I feel this depersonalization and derealization. I have two appointments tomorrow and i’m exhausted of it all. Why haven’t they made it disappear already? I am sure life isn’t meant to feel this bad, it never was like this before. They warned me it might be how I will feel forever..if that is true I don’t think I could handle it. I don’t know who these people are or what I am doing. I hope hope hope this goes away. please please please 


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  1. -tartarus posted this